Roommate Agreement
On
This Page
Steps for Using
Roommate Agreements
Myths and Facts
Rights and Responsibilities
"Get to Know You" Questions
Roommate
Agreement
Reflection
Worksheet (.doc)
One
of the most important experiences in residents' time living on campus
is having a roommate. Roommates can be the source of either deep friendship
or chronic aggravation, depending on the relationship they form. Having
a good relationship between roommates takes effort.
The
first step in developing a good roommate relationship is to realize
that both roommates have choices about their behavior. This means
that roommates can choose to invest time and energy into developing
a good relationship or they can choose not to. They can choose
to constructively confront situations when they arise or they can choose
to ignore problems. They can be nice, mean, timid, angry, considerate,
inconsiderate, patient or unreasonable. As their Resident Assistant,
you can help them choose to talk things out and find a compromise in
their living experience. Residence Life offers a proactive tool
to assist you in helping your residents make these choices.
In
this section you will find information about the Roommate Agreement
and how to effectively use them with your residents.
Step
by Step Using Roommate Agreements
Step 1: Encourage roommates to take some
time to meet and get to know one another. Where are they from? What
are they studying? Hobbies and interests? Use the questions in the "Questions
to Help Roommates Get to Know One Another" section as a resource.
Step 2: Next, have roommates reflect on
their living style and what their expectations are for sharing a room. Check
out the reflection worksheet to assist them with this.
Step 3: Give roommates a blank copy of the
roommate agreement form and ask them to take some time to fill it out.
Encourage residents to talk with one another about what they put on
their reflection worksheet, before they put anything down on the agreement.
You do not need to sit with them and go through each question, rather
briefly go over the benefits of the roommate agreement and give them
a deadline of when they need to get the original back to you.
Step 4: After they complete the agreement,
make it a trial agreement for the first several weeks of the semester.
Around the 5th week of the semester, check in with the residents
about how things are going and if their is anything they would like
to change on their agreement. It is okay to make changes or fill
out a new agreement at anytime.
Step 5: Read over completed agreements and
sign them as well. Give each roommate a copy of the agreement. Put
the original in with Room Inventory forms in the Cluster Office files.
When a conflict arises that residents are not able to resolve on their
own, you can always get the roommate agreement out of the Cluster Office
to use in a mediation.
Myths
and Facts About Having a Roommate
Myth:
My roommate and I have to become best friends.
Fact: While sometimes roommates become best friends, most of the time
they become good friends. You do not have to be best friends to have
a fun and rewarding experience.
Myth:
Having a roommate agreement will put restrictions on what I can and
can't do.
Fact: A roommate agreement has guidelines to which you agree. It
is not there to restrict you. Everything you and your roommate(s)
agree
to should be things that you are comfortable with. If you are not
comfortable with something, talk to your roommate(s) until you find
a compromise
that works for everyone.
Myth:
If I just keep to myself and my side of the room everything will be
fine.
Fact: While this may work for a short time, you are living in a
small space and your paths will cross. Having open lines of communication
from the beginning will allow for a friendlier environment
Myth: My roommate and I need to be alike for us to get along and have
a good year.
Fact: Having similar hobbies and habits can make it fun to live
together. However, it is also good to get to know someone different
than you.
Your roommate(s) may have some great things to share with you.
You may learn some new skills and interests.
Roommates
Rights and Responsibilities
As
a Roommate, YOU have the following RIGHTS:
- To read and study free from undue
interference in one's room.
- To sleep without undue disturbance from
noise, guests of roommate, etc.
- To expect that a roommate will
respect one's personal belongings.
- To a safe and clean environment
in which to live.
- To free access to one's room and facilities without
pressure from a roommate.
- To personal privacy.
- To host guests who respect the rights of the
host's roommate and other hall residents.
- To be free from fear
of intimidation, physical, and/or emotional harm.
- To expect reasonable
cooperation in the use of "room shared" appliances
(telephone, etc.) and a commitment to honor agreed
upon procedures.
As
a Roommate, YOU have the following RESPONSIBILITIES:
- To keep your door locked when you and
your roommate are not home.
- To observe quiet hours, keep your stereo and voice at a reasonable
volume in the residence halls, and to remind others that you expect
the same of them.
- To let your roommate know of your wishes and
preferences for hours of sleep, study, and guest visitation, and
to work through any
differences you may have in a peaceful manner.
- To listen to your roommates
wishes and respond appropriately.
- To read and follow the rules
and regulations established to support the educational purposes
of the University (provided for you
by Residential Life, especially your Housing Contract and Residence Hall Manual)
and to sustain a safe and comfortable living community in
the residence
halls. You are responsible for what happens in your room.
- To examine your own behavior when confronted by another and work
toward resolving conflicts. You also have the responsibility
to confront others in a non-aggressive and non-threatening manner.
- To notify
a staff person of your problem in a timely manner, and to cooperate
with the staff as they work with you to solve
your problem.
- To participate in floor meetings and to adhere to and enforce
community policies and guidelines.
- To recognize that community
cannot exist if any individual is excluded. Action, direct or covert,
that discriminates on the
basis of race, gender, religion, handicap, national origin, age, or sexual
orientation cannot be tolerated in a community based on mutual
respect and
cooperation.
Questions
to Help Roommates Get to Know One Another
Here
are some questions you can use to help roommates get to know one another...
- What are you studying or thinking about
studying?
- Where did you grow up? Where do you live
when not at UMass?
- What are some of your hobbies and interests?
- What type of music do you listen to?
- What are some of your favorite TV shows?
- Do you like to play video games? Which
ones?
- How would your friends from high school
describe you?
- Do you enjoy any athletic activities? Which
ones?
- What type of environment do you need
when you study?
- What are some of your pet peeves?
- What are you comfortable sharing about
your family?
- How often do you plan on going home?
- How do you feel about drugs? Alcohol?
- How often do you plan to socialize?
Just on the weekends? Anytime?
- How do you feel about overnight guests?
- What are you like when you are in a good
mood? A bad mood?
Reflection
Questions for Residents
- Cleanliness: How do you like your room
to appear? Clean and tidy? Decent but not spotless?
- Study Environment: Do you need a quiet
environment to study? When do you study?
- Use of your Possessions: Are you okay
with someone borrowing your things? What things are you willing to
share?
- Phone Use: Do you talk on the phone a
lot? How long do you usually spend on a phone call? Will you
want messages taken for you? Are you willing to do the same?
- Stereo/TV: When do you watch TV? Listen
to the stereo? What type of music do you listen to? Are there
any shows you watch regularly?
- Communication Style: When you are stressed
how do you respond? What do you need when you are upset? Are
you comfortable with approaching those with whom you disagree? How
do you approach that person?
- Socializing: How often do you go out? Are
you going to be around on the weekends? What do you like to do for
fun?
- Guests and Visitors: Will you have overnight
guests? How comfortable are you with your roommate having overnight
guests? When? How often? What gender of overnight guests are you
comfortable with?
- Sleeping: When do you go to sleep? When
do you get up? Are you a light or heavy sleeper? What is OK
for your roommate to do when you are sleeping in the room? What is
not okay?
- Room Temperature: Do you like the room
hot/cold? Do you like the window open?
- Safety & Security: What are some
important considerations you have when thinking about the safety
and security of your self and your belongings (I.e. locking your
door when you are not in your room, not having people in your room
when you are not home, etc.)?
